Hi Steven. Facebook kept suggesting I connect with you and then I remembered that we met at Laird's dad' memorial and then I found your newsletters. Such great reads! And I hadnt know about Substack either. As Laird says, it's so important to involve the kids in what you are doing, if possible, but I still wonder at what ages to bring up certain things. When my kids were maybe 7 years old, I told them I set up Roth IRAs from hiring them at 3 months old to be in a commercial for my office. But they didn't really understand what a Roth IRA was, because they barely understood taxes. I tried to compare the Roth with a traditional IRA but it didn't register with them. When my son got a Hannukah gift from my brother at age 8 or 9, I said let's put half in your checking account and half in your savings. My son confused the savings account with what he remembered of a traditional IRA and said, "Oh no! You're not going to lock it up until I'm 59 years old. What a stupid thing to do!" It was funny but made me realize there are appropriate conversations for each age. Right now they are almost 16 and we're going through the fires in Los Angeles now, so we discussed insurance. I'd like to find a list of what to bring up at what age, so they are interested and not overwhelmed and confused. But yes when the kids reach adulthood (in age and maturity), it is so important to involve them in estate planning and your goals. Have a great 2025. I'll be reading more of your newsletters.
Thanks, Steve! Great to re-meet you! Your story about the ROTH IRA for your young kids made me smile! I agree that involving the kids is an important step once the trustee is no longer in place. (We spared our kids the gory details when we asked my brother-in-law to be the trustee if we both passed before our kids were 30.) Now that they are older, we have involved them!
You have a great 2025, too! I look forward to any future dialog that may start from these posts!
Thanks, Steve for this update and well done to complete your goal on time. Dec is still part of 2024. That was your goal - take credit for hitting it vs. seeing it as just getting done! I call that a win.
Having to deal with both my parents passing away in 2024 and their separate and joint trusts has been less than fun. My dad's passing in the middle of administering my mom's separate property trust created a lot of stress although fortunately my sister Elizabeth (the official trustee of my mom's trust despite the fact that my dad was doing all the deciding and having her sign) has been easy to work with. As you note about Christina and Annalisa, understanding that they can work together is great. And giving them that belief you have in them is hopefully empowering to them. My parents' joint trust has me as a trustee, but I have shared all the major decisions with my sister to keep her involved. She had certain feelings on items, and I listened out of respect for her position and to help us move the whole thing forward. And she had different and useful perspectives which I think has balanced my impulses.
Rebecca and I learned from this process and will simplify our estate plan. One thing that was a complication for my parents is that they named all the gifts to people other than Elizabeth and me ahead of us but did it by fixed dollar amounts. There was one point when the attorney and I were trying to reconcile the trusts that in some ways conflicted and it was not clear that the assets were in the right trust to achieve my parents' wishes. In the end, it was fine (having to do with how the beneficiary was listed in their brokerage account). From this, I think that the children should be listed first for a certain amount, then separate gifts for friends and other family members (fixed or % of the amount), and then the residual back to the children. We may very well use up our assets once I retire and depending on how long we live - my parents made it to 82 and 81 but were not healthy. Rebecca's parents to 93 and 96 and were mostly healthy until they hit 90. So, we have 2-3 decades of family history ahead of us. However, if we have funds left, we want them to go to our son first then others. So maybe we will not be simplifying as much as clarifying.
As our son passes 35 in a month and has his own career and family unit, we are bringing him more up-to-speed on our plans, our wishes (we want to live in our home until we die if we can even if we need 24/7 care), and our health directives. I was fortunate to force my parents into this conversation last year and it has been very helpful to my sister and me to know what they were thinking. (I also got my dad's phone password which was very helpful to have!)
Sorry I spelled your name wrong, Stephen.
No worries! Happens all the time, as I'm sure you understand!
Hi Steven. Facebook kept suggesting I connect with you and then I remembered that we met at Laird's dad' memorial and then I found your newsletters. Such great reads! And I hadnt know about Substack either. As Laird says, it's so important to involve the kids in what you are doing, if possible, but I still wonder at what ages to bring up certain things. When my kids were maybe 7 years old, I told them I set up Roth IRAs from hiring them at 3 months old to be in a commercial for my office. But they didn't really understand what a Roth IRA was, because they barely understood taxes. I tried to compare the Roth with a traditional IRA but it didn't register with them. When my son got a Hannukah gift from my brother at age 8 or 9, I said let's put half in your checking account and half in your savings. My son confused the savings account with what he remembered of a traditional IRA and said, "Oh no! You're not going to lock it up until I'm 59 years old. What a stupid thing to do!" It was funny but made me realize there are appropriate conversations for each age. Right now they are almost 16 and we're going through the fires in Los Angeles now, so we discussed insurance. I'd like to find a list of what to bring up at what age, so they are interested and not overwhelmed and confused. But yes when the kids reach adulthood (in age and maturity), it is so important to involve them in estate planning and your goals. Have a great 2025. I'll be reading more of your newsletters.
Thanks, Steve! Great to re-meet you! Your story about the ROTH IRA for your young kids made me smile! I agree that involving the kids is an important step once the trustee is no longer in place. (We spared our kids the gory details when we asked my brother-in-law to be the trustee if we both passed before our kids were 30.) Now that they are older, we have involved them!
You have a great 2025, too! I look forward to any future dialog that may start from these posts!
Thanks, Steve for this update and well done to complete your goal on time. Dec is still part of 2024. That was your goal - take credit for hitting it vs. seeing it as just getting done! I call that a win.
Having to deal with both my parents passing away in 2024 and their separate and joint trusts has been less than fun. My dad's passing in the middle of administering my mom's separate property trust created a lot of stress although fortunately my sister Elizabeth (the official trustee of my mom's trust despite the fact that my dad was doing all the deciding and having her sign) has been easy to work with. As you note about Christina and Annalisa, understanding that they can work together is great. And giving them that belief you have in them is hopefully empowering to them. My parents' joint trust has me as a trustee, but I have shared all the major decisions with my sister to keep her involved. She had certain feelings on items, and I listened out of respect for her position and to help us move the whole thing forward. And she had different and useful perspectives which I think has balanced my impulses.
Rebecca and I learned from this process and will simplify our estate plan. One thing that was a complication for my parents is that they named all the gifts to people other than Elizabeth and me ahead of us but did it by fixed dollar amounts. There was one point when the attorney and I were trying to reconcile the trusts that in some ways conflicted and it was not clear that the assets were in the right trust to achieve my parents' wishes. In the end, it was fine (having to do with how the beneficiary was listed in their brokerage account). From this, I think that the children should be listed first for a certain amount, then separate gifts for friends and other family members (fixed or % of the amount), and then the residual back to the children. We may very well use up our assets once I retire and depending on how long we live - my parents made it to 82 and 81 but were not healthy. Rebecca's parents to 93 and 96 and were mostly healthy until they hit 90. So, we have 2-3 decades of family history ahead of us. However, if we have funds left, we want them to go to our son first then others. So maybe we will not be simplifying as much as clarifying.
As our son passes 35 in a month and has his own career and family unit, we are bringing him more up-to-speed on our plans, our wishes (we want to live in our home until we die if we can even if we need 24/7 care), and our health directives. I was fortunate to force my parents into this conversation last year and it has been very helpful to my sister and me to know what they were thinking. (I also got my dad's phone password which was very helpful to have!)