How we show up the same way — even in Severance
“How we do anything is how we do everything.”
Since the airing of the season 2 finale of Severance, I’ve been thinking about one of its core themes. For those unfamiliar with the show, it is set in a world where a technology exists to “sever” a person’s prior memories and relationship experiences upon entering the workplace. So, while people can still retain the skills necessary to work, they don’t remember any of their past upbringing, trauma, or disillusionment. This premise sets the stage for some very interesting thought experiments. I wanted to explore just one of them here — can people really be different at work than at home?
Innies and Outies / Nature and Nurture
Severance explores how much of our behavior is just innate and independent of our environment or experiences.
The show refers to severed characters inside the workplace as “innies” versus the “outies” who live outside the workplace with their memories, trauma, and disillusionment intact. As “innies,” all the characters get a “fresh start” on life.
For Mark, the protagonist, we get to see how his innie behaves very much like how Mark was before the death of his wife. Mark’s outie, on the other hand, is quite depressed after having lost his wife and his job.
Dylan’s wife observes how his innie is like how Dylan used to be earlier in their relationship. Dylan’s outie, on the other hand, seems disillusioned with a busy life watching kids at night while his wife works an opposite schedule as a 911 Dispatcher.
Helena’s father indicates how her innie (“Helly”) has the same qualities that Helena had when she was a child. It’s likely that her domineering father played a huge role in forming Helena’s adult personality.
I like how the show explores how the character’s “nature” gets expressed through their innies, and how their experiences (or “nurture”) fill out the rest of their personality in their outies.
In the case of Irving, we observed a detail-oriented nature in both his innie and outie. His innie utilized this detail-orientation to meticulously learn the rules and procedures in the workplace. His outie utilized this detail-orientation to investigate Lumon (the company who invented the severance procedure) and to paint the exports hall to the testing floor with the hope of transferring these images to his innie.
However, what was most interesting was how, under stress, the “nature” part of someone’s personality can take over, despite other lived experiences. The season 2 finale demonstrated this in a very cool scene with jump cuts as Mark’s innie and outie engaged in an asynchronous argument by sending messages back and forth to each other using a video camera. When calm, there was an apologetic tone to Mark’s outie and an innocence to Mark’s innie. As the argument escalated, the same personality traits from their own natural personality profiles came out on both sides.
Under stress, the innies and outies often exhibited the same characteristics.
Why am I asking this question?
I’ve written before about how my wife, Marsha, would always be surprised when attending my work events to hear my colleagues describe me as outgoing and enthusiastic. At home, I tend to spend a lot of “alone time” and can show up as a natural introvert. While it may appear that I had an “innie” and an “outie”, I don’t think there were “two selves” here!
Personality tests reveal that my own natural profiles are introverted (INTP) and a promoting persuader (DISC profile “I”). While this is a rare combination, I think even people in my personal life can see that I’m very enthusiastic about things I get behind! In my case, I think the workplace simply provided more stimuli for things I needed to get behind. Then, after spending all day at work with all of those stimuli, I’d simply be too tired to keep that up! Ultimately, I think my nature showed through in both environments.
Simulations in leadership training
Even though we can’t go through our own “severance” procedures, we can simulate a different set of experiences. I once attended a leadership training session that involved a simulation exercise. Prior to attending this workshop, we all had to fill out personality assessments and solicit 360° assessments from colleagues in our workplaces.
The session started with psychologists analyzing our personality tests to identify potential blind spots that may require extra attention. Some attributes that come through in these tests include attention to detail, organization, communication, and proactivity. Interpretation of these test results can provide some clue about how small tasks described in a questionnaire might reflect our overall behavior.
Then, we did a simulation of a fictitious company in a stressful situation. With no prior knowledge of the situation at hand, all of us in attendance were given an individualized packet of printed emails to study the night before, and we had to show up the next day to “do our jobs” without any knowledge of what was in anyone else’s packet of emails. After the simulation, we all reviewed each other in a “safe space” with critical feedback on how we all behaved and worked together under stress. This exercise reinforced how some of our blind spots (and strengths) come into play even in a simulation.
The final exercise was then to open our 360° assessments from our actual coworkers. We were all surprised to hear how similar the feedback was from our peers in the simulation with the actual feedback our coworkers gave us.
This exercise demonstrated to me that, under stress, we all show up the same way, whether we’re answering a questionnaire, participating in a simulation, or doing real work — all different environments. Just Like Mark in Severance!
Couples Counseling
I’ve been fascinated by the process of couples counseling. The exercise typically involves recreating past conversations involving conflict (and stress!) in front of a counselor.
I have been amazed how the same emotions and stimuli can still come through, even in a different environment. With facilitation, the pace can be slowed down, the points can be broken apart, and the feelings can be separated. As I’ve mentioned before, the lasting impact of conflict is almost never about the subject of the conflict itself but rather how people feel. We can bring the same feelings even in the presence of a therapist.
Like the simulation in leadership training, couples counseling can also be used as a tool that takes advantage of our showing up the same way under stress — even in different environments!
The Severance Season 2 finale
One aspect of the Severance Season 2 finale that I really appreciated was the recognition that there really aren’t two distinct selves at a deep emotional level.
While it was clear that the severance procedures successfully erased memories, it was not successful in separating more deep-rooted emotions. I won’t give away the ending to those who haven’t yet watched the show. However, it was thought-provoking, as it really is the emotions that last beyond the specifics of memories and experiences.
In the context of the show, it demonstrated that there really is a linkage of our nature between the innies and the outies that persists even through the severance procedure.
Answering the question
So, going back to the question: are people really different at work than at home?
I think the answer is “no.” I’ve seen this from personal experience in both leadership training and couples counseling. I appreciate how Severance as an art form expresses this view in a totally different way!